Things I learned from Video games!
Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts (snes) - no matter how high you jump, zombies can always eat your crotch.
Final Fantasy x2 (ps2) - if you can't best a challenger, change clothes and try again.
Civilization 2 (pc) - A well placed catapult can still trash the shiniest tank.
SSX 3 (ps2) - Snowboards make your neck invulnerable to breaking.
Final Fantasy 1 (nes) - Poison can't actually kill you, just take you down to 1 HP.
Sonic the hedgehog (sega) - True power lies in wedding rings.
Legend of Zelda (nes) - Fairies are tasty.
Bonk's adventure (TG16) - the bigger your head, the softer you fall.
Rome: total war- Slavery isn't barbaric, it's really, really cool.
Max Paine- Enough Tylenol allows you to ignore bullet holes.
Vampire: bloodlines- Humans are tasty and like being eaten (ooo that sounds kinky)
Super Mario Bros. (NES): Shrooms that hide in little mystery boxes actually make you a bigger and better person, and open the gateway to all sorts of magic powers.
Space Invaders : Shields are for the weak and just get in the way.
What you got?