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Brekekekex koax koax - Portrait of a Young Man as The Artist — LiveJournal
Brekekekex koax koax

There's something about frog sing that heightens my desire to run away from life. Every once and a while, usually late as it is now, I become disgusted by my surroundings. The stuff that has accumulated over the years. I find it all, especially recently, superfluous. I have learned that I can find ample entertainment in free things. That I buy DVDs seems surreal anymore. Honestly? NetFlix works in a pinch for an eighth the cost of buying similar whims. Library books have kept me out of books stores for two months. aetrix9 asked me why I didn't just buy a copy of The Omnivore's Dilemma as I'm 50 something of 200 on the holds list. I was dumbstruck, not from remembering buying books, that I used to do that frequently. I don't see the use of it at all anymore.

THat's the whole point, you see. I see little use for many of the material possessions around me. The couch I sit on is really just a tall, long pillow. The TV a reason to watch DVDs. Etc. Etc. I think that I could simplify so much further, even walk away completely from my current life (caveat: I like my relationships, this is focusing on stuff). If I look at things I use or do in my daily life, it all fits into a backpack. Clothes. Camera. Tablet. Food. Book(s). Clothes and food may be fashioned and electricity found publicly, books borrowed from the library. I really wonder why I have so much... extra?

The answers I have: comfort and discipline. I find comfort in my middle class surroundings. I like having things, for others to see my things (it's all a dirty penis game in the end). And I have neither the discipline to give it up nor the discipline not to care about it. graye wrote about Festina Lente - to hurry slowly. I liken this to the Japanese rigors regarding life. All things are done with the attention to make it art. I don't know how to fill my life with that. Were I able to, I sincerely believe I could give up the excess stuff and focus on a handful of things for my life that I truly enjoy.

That is the key to down shifting that I can't find. I get caught up in so much frivolity (again, not my relationships) that I'm blinded from enjoying my time doing any one thing that I really enjoy doing. Problematically, these things are difficult to do with other people.

That's the real problem right there. I haven't blended what I hold most important about myself with what I do in my relationships. Huh. Parallax.

I originally intended to make this entry about wanting to run away, leaving my life behind and stuff (much due to the impending move). When I realized that this was ultimately impossible if I wanted to maintain my love relationships, I backed off and turned thought to simplifying. I was going to connect my desire to run to the frogs singing outside right now. They live their lives to sing, it seems, focusing on what is at their heart, their essence. But in shifting my entry I have connected a few important dots. Sadly, I can't equate them to frogs without knowing more about their mating habits.

Ah well.

PS: after a conversation with graydancer and fencert I've decided to embrace the metadata tagging style and tag as I see fit. I was trying to categorize my life cleanly; this was not woking. Simple tag lists be damned!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Current Location: My Balcony
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Frog song

11 comments or Leave a comment
fencert From: fencert Date: May 27th, 2006 10:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Material things really are nothing. Frogs are something. Connections to people and thoughts are everything.

The only things that I really value in my life are the things that let me interface with my friends- my computer, the things that let me pursue my hobbies, and a few mementos from loves lost.
abmann From: abmann Date: May 27th, 2006 03:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
That sounds about right. My tablet is my connection to everything.

The frog song is really pretty. I like it at night when that's all there is. I'm going to miss it after we move nxt month.
littlemage From: littlemage Date: May 27th, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

frog mating habits

I've kept three albino water frogs as pets for about 3 1/2 years now. They've successfully mated on a few occassions, and some of their babies are still going strong (after I pawned them off on everyone I knew). Something always fascinates me about the actual mating, though-- the frogs will only mate right after I've tidied up their tank. It's like clockwork: clean tank, frog sex. Maybe that's the connection you were looking for?
abmann From: abmann Date: May 27th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: frog mating habits

I certainly prefer sex when my apartment is clean but that's not quite what I was looking for. :) I don't really recall the point I wanted to make were I more frog-literate and it is too late anyway.
nathan_lounge From: nathan_lounge Date: May 27th, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
dirty penis game...

Is there something you want to tell us?

abmann From: abmann Date: May 27th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Everyone already knows you are obsessed with my penis.
evilevi From: evilevi Date: May 27th, 2006 06:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm in the middle of trying to sort through stuff for the garage sale. Or starting to. It's overwhelming. I should be able to just decide what I want to take with me when I move and get rid of the rest. I am having a hard time wading through everything, though. After just sorting through my fabric and patterns I want to run off with only those and my sewing machine for a few weeks or months.

I have been having issues focusing lately.
abmann From: abmann Date: May 27th, 2006 10:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah.. not fun. I have stuff I want to remove but not sure what to do with it. Like the panini grill. what the hell to do with it? Weirdest xmas gift ever...
evilevi From: evilevi Date: May 27th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
People seem to like those things, so I'm sure you could find it another home. If you only have a little bit of stuff, eBay might get you some useful cash in exchange for your unwanted items. If you have a lot of stuff, there is the garage sale option (or if you have a few things and want to garage sale them I could probably get them in the GGGS for you). If you don't want to bother with either of those, either freecycle or donate it.
not_a_girl From: not_a_girl Date: May 29th, 2006 03:33 am (UTC) (Link)
You have made me infinitely happy by quoting The Frogs for your entry title. I love me some Aristophanes.
alyska From: alyska Date: May 29th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC) (Link)
now, howsabouts do you know graye?
11 comments or Leave a comment