The Piecemeal Man (abmann) wrote,
The Piecemeal Man
abmann

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To Do - Become a Mad Scientist

(Originally written two years ago. I though it would be fun to share. I'll be adding a longer running piece I started way back when as well, when my V:tM obsession ran deeper.)


"His eyes have generally an expression of wildness, and even madness; but there are moments when, if any one performs an act of kindness towards him, or does him any the most trifling service, his whole countenance is lighted up, as it were, with a beam of benevolence and sweetness that I never saw equalled. But he is generally melancholy and despairing; and sometimes he gnashes his teeth, as if impatient of the weight of woes that oppresses him" Robert Walton's description of Victor Frankenstein.


I don't want to destroy the world, directly. I'm much more interested in helping the world's problems, it would be upsetting if it was destroyed in the process of my helping. But, with a little twisted logic, wouldn't that be helping at the same time?


I'm already on my way. I have an obsession. My second semester freshman year was taken up almost completely in the design of a new chemical in the Organic Chemistry lab. What I created does not exist but it will bond to DNA. If it works like distant sister chemicals it would highlight, literally, a rung of DNA for study. If it didn't... well, sulphur is only as toxic as the surrounding chemicals. So what if it had 1 sulphur in it.... (They aren't toxic until you get two on opposite sides of a free floating chain.) So long as the chain with the sulfer didn't break it wouldn't be toxic. And helocenes are really stable.


Anyway, obsession. So, I designed the entire experiment that, with a few trials, could be perfected to work very well. I gave the list of meterials to the professor adn began working with what I already had. Three weeks later, the professor never ordered the chemicals and I couldn't finish. I knew that day what blinding rage felt like. I made it my goal to see him get his due. We complained to department chairs, deans, and the president. This semester that professor got brough up to re-evaluation. His job wasn't going to be reinstated, so he "quite." I beat him, so much did I win. Now, I only have to wait to get back into a lab to continue work. I still have my notes and a better experiment.


I think I would want to live in a run down castle were I a Mad Scientist. At least, it would be dilapitated on the outside and lush inside, draped in red and purple velvets. I would have a massive library of all archaic sciences and modern sciences, alchemy to bio-chemistry. My lab would be filled with beakers and glass tubing that did little but look really spiffy as the boiled and bubbled. Anything nefarious I'd be doing would be behind a special wall that only I knew about and would be locked to my arm print.

I would employ all my henchlings only after they demonstarted that they could shoot with accuracy with every kind of weapon. I would pay for any training they needed. As well, I wold give them nice rooms and nights off on a weekly rotation so they won't get upset and revolt.

I will never tell anyone about my plans, but only write them in an esoteric language I developed and even then I will sleep with that diary chained to me, if not surgically implanted inside of me each night.

I will never wash my lab coat. Any respectable Mad Scientist doesn't have time to do a wash. But, it will not stink. Rather, only have strategic smattering of dust and blood to give me a menacing air. I will wear welding glasses on my head in case the lightening machine I will own sparks too much. But, it will never be involved in any major experiemts because anything so silly is bound to break at crucial moments.

Lastly, I will have an evil scientist wife that will help me with my experiments. Everybody needs some one. ;)

-AngryBunnyMan



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