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abmann
abmann
Moo
Poll #669123 Yay Boo

Today?

Yay!
1(7.1%)
Boo!
4(28.6%)
Moo.
9(64.3%)

Tell us a joke

Super Turnip?

Mean: 61.00 Median: 73.5 Std. Dev 31.29
0(0.0%)
1
0(0.0%)
6
0(0.0%)
11
1(8.3%)
16
0(0.0%)
21
3(25.0%)
26
0(0.0%)
31
0(0.0%)
36
0(0.0%)
41
0(0.0%)
46
0(0.0%)
51
0(0.0%)
56
0(0.0%)
61
0(0.0%)
66
1(8.3%)
71
1(8.3%)
76
1(8.3%)
81
1(8.3%)
86
2(16.7%)
91
0(0.0%)
96
2(16.7%)
9 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: February 8th, 2006 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Joke

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!
kate_the_bear From: kate_the_bear Date: February 8th, 2006 04:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Joke

he he
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: February 8th, 2006 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Joke

:) I thought it was funny...
abmann From: abmann Date: February 8th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Joke

I liked it. :) Though I was expecting a voyeurism joke.
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: February 8th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Joke

Me too... I think that made me think it was funnier.
abmann From: abmann Date: February 8th, 2006 04:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Here is a "true" story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.

To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope, including the wedding party.

He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.

After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said "Screw you," he turned to the bride and said "Screw you," and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here." He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning.

While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge?

Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for 300 guests at the wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and, best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families, i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.

This guy has balls the size of church bells. This is his world; we just live in it.
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: February 8th, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
"true"?

abmann From: abmann Date: February 8th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Site says it's true but I can't validate it... well, I didn't bother to validate so I put it in quotes.

Me = busy. :)
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: February 8th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Busy is good... keeps you awake. :)

I'm not so. I'm avoiding a pretty big project that consists of going through a large list of staff on the database to make sure that their information's correct. Ugh.

I'm happy though. Loud music and bouncing around.
9 comments or Leave a comment