I am not the Swiss Colony. This should be apparent from the, "Hi, you've reached Will..." portion of my voice mail message. As much as I can be a people pleaser, I'd prefer not to send you copious amounts of gourmet foods in tastefully wrapped gift baskets. Please stop having old women leave me 3 minute long orders in my voice mail box. And as much as I'm tempted to do evil, I do not want to have them inform me of their names, addresses and social security numbers.
No chocolate for you.