The sheening aftermath.
I had a fantastic time at Cardinal Bar. The DJ was there when Severian said he would be which made the night worthwhile in the sense that we got to do exactly as we wished. The place was deserted when we got there though so we kicked back and bought beer. We talked about stuff that I don't even remember at this point mostly because a conversation we had later in the night has occluded the first. The second was much more important in my opinion, as is generally the case when I get to say, "You're being an fucking idiot," lovingly. I've had many of these sorts of conversations with Severian over the years probably because I'm one of may be 2 people in the world that he actually listens to when I say things along those lines. I think it may be due to me being one of the few people the compliments him without provocation, something that happens very rarely to the sulky.
I am no longer the sulky at clubs. I am a completely different person at dance clubs/parties than I used to be. The terminal repressed wallflower, now I am the stalwart floor owner. When I was out there people, and I say tis serious, gave me dance space at center. I had presence. I had poise, a smidgen of grace and fanciful flailing arms. No, I did not beat these people to take their space. I mean when I got out there and lost myself in the beat intrinsic, I fucking owned that floor. I would almost say I fucking pwnd it but severian is a damn good dancer and I have to bow to that. He just didn't have presence.
I had never been that person before. It's marvelous. I finally learned to say "fuck all" to anyone that may be watching and critiquing my fluidity. I've learned to just do it and give in, man. It's unreal what a difference it makes. THe only problem now is shaking the remnants of the dance off. You see, dancing is sexy. There are gorgeous people around, I'm in a fantastic state of mind. It positively turns me on, and I'm not saying 15-year-old grinding some chick hard-on sort of turned on (though that is part) it's I'm a god damned deity here power rush sort of turned on. That's hard to shake without having someone to ravage.
It's not all about dancing anymore. Really dancing is a secondary when out now. My favored activity is culture watcing, because this sort of music creates a few groups of people that all interact and dance differently. THere are, as parsed tonight*:
- Tonight I saw one wallflower get on the dance floor, jiggle, and then stop moving completely. He literally stood like deer in headlights on the floor for a good twenty minutes. I have no idea what he was doing. He may verywell still be there.
Often, we see wallflowers become:
These people like clubs, probably more for the social drinking. They're the ones that can't find the house flow. Even when the beat is monotonous they sort of jiggle or sway within a very small area.
They're really the ones that want to be:
with sub sections of A: "In couple," and B: "Wants to couple"
These are the couples that dance together in some fashion to the music, usually involving excessive grinding and thrusting. These are the people that are really doing this as a form of foreplay. Subgroup A will usually get off at some point that night whereas subgroup B is a crap shoot depending on attractiveness of both parties, alcohol consumption and general ability to actually feel the grinding as it happens.
- Tonight subgroup B was the unattractive, persistent wino variety. They ground there way through most of the women in a blatantly disgusting manner even when the women would cross the 40 foot dance floor to get away from them. These two guys drove away the best dancer that night who was part of:
These are the people that do it, and do it hard. They'll be out there dancing like they're the only ones that exist, loving their own world. They are the ones that blend the house beat with their body adn mind and become Techno. These are the people that everyone wants to be, though Couplers are kind of a crap shoot depending on the individuals within the (di-, tri-, multi-)ad.
They skulk about the dance floor wanting be out there but not really able to do so. These are the peopple, like I used to be, that are living firmly within the adolescent "personal fable" for any number of reasons.
Me? I'm somwhere between Out-of-placer and Reveler as I see it. I get lost in the music but suddenly snap out and become aware of what my limbs are or are not doing. I used to be a Wallflower with occasional Reveler moments that were as fleeting as a preteen sexual encounter, though I never remained ON the dance floor when I woke. It's in the state of Revelry that we contact the carnal nature of dancing. I understand why cultures use dance as ritual to connect to what ever God-thing they worship.
I also understand why sex is so damn much better after a good dance party. Pardon me while I take care of a few things.
Note: I'm going to be more open with my sexlife, I think. I haven't decided if I'll cut the parts of make a sex filter. Anything I say is something I'm willing to let be known. But who knows? Some of you may be puritans.
*List may not be exhaustive. May contain nuts.