I have found that this past respite from school has been fleeting, flighty and devoid of enough fun. I fear that I'm saddened that my last break was spent with out many of my friends. However, the wonderful bit was a 7th Sea game where I upset the GM because I no longer control my emotions.
This is, of course, a conscious effort on my part. Previously, I would allow next to no emotion grace my exterior, prefering raher to flow away, side-step if you will, anything that happened. This, whle not unhealthy, is not much of a way to life a human existence. Rather than be autonomous I prefer to deal with some form of emotion. Though, I'm quicker to anger now and it takes a very long time to understand it. It seems to be a step in the incorect direction, but I thnk that is a mirage, an illusion my mind desires to to use to get me to take a real step backward.
I tried wearing an old necklace. I think it was influencing me in some odd fashion. I kept stroking it and felt it pulling on my emotions. I do not know if it was a good pull but I stopped wearing it and leveled off. I think I shall try wearing a bear necklace.
I wanted something more substantial. I have nothing more.
Let it be.