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Portrait of a Young Man as The Artist
A fortuitous turn of events, fortuitous in the actual sense of "completely by chance." I'm currently sitting on a camp that was canceled last week. This means, potentially, a bonus next month as previously hoped As WELL AS a bonus in Septemember if my TL lets me take the other camp as well. Here's hoping. The two combined will equate to 75% of my normal monthly paycheck.

I think I can handle piles of cash for learning. Now, if only I can hook up something similar for graduate school, I'll be set.

Last Saturday with my sister and father was odd. Being with them is becoming uncomfortable because I learn more and more that we three are different people fundamentally. The more I'm with them the more my differences become apparent.

Example: They thought it unthinkable that I was willing to leave my job to preserve my relationship with lady_fox. I was talking to them about my current employment and how much I like it. They asked how she was doing and it came up that she's unhappy and that I'm looking into graduate school. The look of confusion on their faces were intractable. They simply couldn't comprehend that I'd be willing to pull myself out of, as they see it, a perfect situation for a relationship. Or rather, they further didn't understand that Iris wasn't willing to bare through her dislike of the job and midwest for me - because that's how you do it don't you know?

This was really the moment where clarity dawned. I'm not like these people anymore. They both act contemptuously towards people that want them to change their lives. Now, that is my first reaction to changes of the magnitude I'm working on come next year. However, I realize that the first response I have is hardly productive to maintaining a healthy relationship. They do not seen to understand this last part.

My first, for example, has a boyfriend who wants to get a boat. She does not so she won't let him get one even though they can probably afford it easily. The way she spoke about it was disheartening. She treated it like the most ludicrous idea she had ever heard. Not good.

I guess I should say the following: I do this too. In these sorts of moment, I realize that fundamentally I have their same personalities. However, I have the further layer of social awareness. I find social ties worth preserving and open discussion worth while. They seem to have abandoned this.

I apologize for the disorder of this post.

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4 comments or Leave a comment
nathan_lounge From: nathan_lounge Date: June 13th, 2005 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey Honkey,

I left you a message yesterday, but that explains where you were...give me a call back or drop me a line or something if you want to get together soon. Rich and I were talking about moseying up to Madison some afternoon soon.

abmann From: abmann Date: June 13th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually, I was home Sunday but passed out for about three hours in the afternoon so slept through the call. :)

If you guys want to come up Friday afternoon, I can take a half day at work and hang out. I'll call you when I get off work if I don't get a response back from this post. We should do Indian for lunch.
nathan_lounge From: nathan_lounge Date: June 13th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure. I won't know what my Friday (or weekend) looks like till tomorrow or Wednesday.
abmann From: abmann Date: June 13th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well nuts to you. I'm still going to request it off. :þ
4 comments or Leave a comment