February 9th, 2006

Cthulhu Joyce

I am a friday fixer.

"My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared."
- PJ Plauger

[The essay in the cut is a work in progress]
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I made my deadline. I've tested everything that needed to be tested. Things should relax a bit for a few weeks. The release testing and late fix cycle, though getting stuffed with things to do, is generally less pressing than the end of a development cycle.

I am OK today. I slept nearly the whole night. I woke briefly at 2am when my jaw cracked. I slept with it at a funny angle and tried to swallow; it popped. I woke up from the discomfort but promptly feel back to sleep. I had hazy dreams about something I can't recall anymore.

lady_fox is off to Virginia tomorrow. I haven't any idea what I'm going to do with my Friday night. I'm suddenly depressed at the prospect of staying in, though I do have an art project I'd like to work on, and I can finally watch Gandhi. I don't know. It feels oddly pathetic in this case, when both Fox and Aetrix will be busy. I think this will be the first night, certainly a Friday, when I'll be on my own. I contemplated asking work people out to do something but... But what? I don't know what. I feel odd doing it out of the blue.

I'm so bad at making friends any more.
Bah. When did I become so dependent on companion ship? On having people present?
Live with someone for four years, I suppose become accustomed to having them around.

I suppose if I can't find something to do or someone (out with which) to go [out with] I'm going to build a giant blanket pile and watch movies and eat pizza and paint in my PJs. There may be cats in there somewhere, especially if there's food on the floor.

Blanket piles are soothing. The world is perfect when you look at it from a blanket pile.