July 9th, 2005

Cthulhu Joyce

New hats for all!

I boughts me a new hat today. This was part of my birthday gift to myself because, clearly, I don't spend enough money as it is anyway. Because of this new hat I am now officially evil. There's no going back. While wearing my now too big, too sexy Russian Commie pants my nice striped shirt (see picture) I'm an unstoppable force for sex and communism. You'll note that my eyes take a nice red glow when I wear the hat. This was note photoshopped; I'm just that evil now.

Subsequently, I will have to destroy you all unless you placate me in some way. Now, I'm not interested (yet) in the sort of appeasement Europe granted Hitler. I don't need territory until I have an army conscripted. This means I will only accept money or slaves. So, if you wish to side-step a protracted, vexatious death please send money to:

PO Box 3973
100 Enterprise Drive
Verona, Wi. 53593

Otherwise, send me an email swearing undying fealty to my gmail account. Afterward, I'll send you instructions on how to politicize my great evilness.