Positive. Positive... something poisitive ;). I feel wonderful. Being back in Beloit has removed all blockage I had while at home. I feel well rested and energetic. THis fruit cleansing thing is doing me well as of yet. I had grapes today, where the first grape was orgasmic in its gustability. Furthermore, I am starting to realize just how dehydrated I always am.
Much of human, scratch that... American hunger comes from chronic dehydration. All the salty foods and soda pop has us bloated husks of once-liquid beings. Much of my hunger was from too much salt and little water. I have eaten an avocado, a tomato, some grapes and an orange today. I feel fantastic and I'm satiated. I must continue this trend with much fervor at school. I guess that means more eating at commons, with the occasional jaunt to DKs for a tastey bagel sandwich.
One thing that's really weird about this cleansing is that I miss bread. Like, really miss bread: every food-related fantasy I have has bread in it. Conisequently I had at least a two minute fantasy about eating a BLT. It was actually quite funny when I finally broke that haze. :). Enough of my eating habits... on to illuminasting my previous post.
I had intended to continue my previous entry, but I'm not in the thoughtful mood I was before (read depressed). I guess I shouldn't feel so good and I coyuld better eludicate what was really going on there. Suffice it to say, being home is a spiritual pause button. Though I do truely love mein Vater, I hate that house. He has slowed it down so much that I shut off. THere's enough of his and my sister's influences in my bedroom that I can't feel at peasce excepting my little reading nook. My books, my book shelf and that amazing orange recliner are very much mine.
"That rexliner is wonderful. It straight out of the 70s with it's orange, nonsoft fabric. It still has tic-tac-toe games that I scratched into it when I was 9. poor thing has a gash in it large enough to hide earthdotprime in it. I'm taking it with me when I move, somehow, and will get it reopholstered. I love it good. THis chair is a link to my father, and for some reason my grandmothers. Neighter of them really had anything to do with it, it's just weird. It is also the only good memory I have regarding my Aunt Sally. She used to sit in that chair and play her mountain dulcimer. And my amazing Uncle Lee, he used to just sit and nap.
Lee was probably the most gentle man I ever knew. He was an anthropologist, I think. I remember him tellinmg me about digs he went on. He's why Iwanted to be an archaeologist, but that's another entry."
That's really the only hide-away I have, in it's 5 sq ft glory. Leaving the house is like instant withdrawal. I get shakey and start to panic... home gives me agoraphobia. It's kinda frightening.
Shrug. I'm here, it's good.... I have FFX-2 and I'm such a geek. :) That game is why I missed New Year's. I would care more, but I'm completely ignoring the future. Completely. see previous post for why I don't wanna think future-wise.
mmm... Iron Chef.