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Retrospecticus - Portrait of a Young Man as The Artist — LiveJournal
abmann
abmann
Retrospecticus
It's 6:40 am. I have come into work early because I'm leaving early to enjoy my mini-party for New Year's. I scheduled time starting at 7am. Rather than begin working already, i want to share with all of you my thoughts on this year. This will probably be just as rambly as my Yuletide post, but not as eloquent.

It was a good year. That much is clear.


    Life goals met
  1. Write a book. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, just never what "sort" of writer. I wrote an entire book of poetry, which many of you have read the rough draft.

  2. Earn a college degree. This is an incremental goal. I have a BA in Psych and Creative Writing now. I graduated in early May... nearly 9 months ago.

  3. Be six feet tall and 200 lbs. Kinda funny. When I was in fourth grade we had to do goals for adulthood. I wrote on there, being the chubby little child I was, that by the age of 25 I wanted to be six feet tall and 200 lbs heavy. My teacher said that I'd be really thin. Well, I'm six feet 192lbs, and still pretty pudgy. I'm impressed that I reached that go, which is now very old.

  4. Find "the one." Cheesey as it may sound, I really do think lady_fox is the love of my life. When I was fourteen, the summer after my freshman year in high school, my mother did a tarot reading for me. Being the hormonal teen I was, I wanted to know when I'd find the love of my life. The answer: in college. I got no description of this person beyond basics that could apply to both ishtarstar and lady_fox (both of whom I dated in college), but I think it's Fox.

  5. Become an artist. This has always been separate of being a writer, which I have always been. It's also the most recent addition to the Life Goal&trade list, added within the last three years. I haven't been paid for it yet, which some say is the true mark of the artist. That's a life. Being an artists is being consumed by your work. While I seem to have the comsumption under my control, I still say I'm an artist. I can produce the images that I see now, within a very small margin of error. this impresses me still.



5 at the age of 22? Not bad. These are not stopping points, but places of rest and contemplation. I have realized many dreams but they are just the beginning to an interesting road.


    Regular Goals met:
  1. Get a job (aka "don't be a dirty hippy"). Less important but good. It's one of those "inevitable" goals in my mind, meaning that it's going to happen. However, I didn't think that first time out of the gate, I'd win the job race by six furlongs.

  2. Make friends. This is always a goal. Further explanation later.

  3. Get cats. Not really a goal, per se, but something I always wanted to do. I did it well, damn it.

  4. Make a comic book. dragonflyknight did that my senior year. It wasn't great, but it's there.



This is much more important for me. The following is waht I did not do that I should have in the previous year
    Failed Goals:
  1. Keep a comic going. Failed at this twice. I got two scripts to Fro for White Faction and graduated. Then it crapped out because he adn I are both lazy and I got bored with the story. Failed Animus as well, mostly because the time commitment was greater than expected.

  2. Get published. A continuous goal. This is more my failure than the world's really. I have two books of poetry that must be edited and hand fulls of stories as well. I will get them out there this year, assuredly.

  3. Present research. I did so many experiments my senior year. They either showed little promising results or crapped out due to lack of subject response. Professor Grosofski had suggested I could present last March. I never did, never got everything togather. I think she resents me for that, with good reason.


Can't think of anything else. Much of each failure can be attributed to myself, rightfuly or not. I'm not ashamed of these goals, at least I'm trying not to be. We can rarely accomlish everything we want and I still have much time to get these together. There is no reason to mourn the past.


    The following people have impacted my life in some important manner this year:
    (in no particular order)
  1. lady_fox: She is love.


  2. My father: This man bought me car for graduation. That car was the key factor in my ability to get to Madison to interview for the job at Epic. There is NO WAY I'd be jere if it weren't for my father, in many tangible and intangible senses. He also paid all my student loans which has allowed me to live a higher standard of living. Now, I could afford to pay them with my salary at Epic. I just wouldn't have a couch...


  3. madolan: This surprises me too. Her journal, so incredibly well written, inspired many of the poems that are in my book. Her writing made me envious, since she seemed to do it with such ease. It's sad, really, that she'll probably not read this. Also, she seems to be the first person I've managed to thoroughly, personally offend. I'm still angry about it because I feel that I was wrongly written off. I'm angry because that's the easiest emotion to hold onto when I cannot apologize more. I apologized and still she rejected me.


  4. Art Robson: He helped me graduate, really, by letting my write a comic book for credit. I'd have graduated anyway, but I'd have had a far less enjoyable last semester. I had the chance to unwind and stop being evil to my friends in those last few months.


  5. graye: It's partially his fault that I bought my first digital camera. He catalogues most of his life and takes excellent pictures. He spurred a lot of my artistic side this year, even though I've only "known" him for a five months.


Honorable mentions go to, nathan_lounge,feodoric, phoenix_snake, and my mother for little things through out the year. I can't think of specifics but I know you have changed me in some way for the better.


And finally, statistics.
% of time I got up before the sun this year: 33
Number I've times I got to work before the rest of my team: 6
Number of bonuses gotten at work: 3
Good photos taken: 11
Poems written: 112 ± 4
Books written: 1
T-shirts designed: 7
Money spent on DVDs: roughly $600
Money spent on computers: $2100
Journal entries written: 396 (including this one)
% of total LJ entries writen this year: 89
Addictions cultivated: 1


Summary
I think that's all I've got for this year. I'm sure I've left some things out, but that's the important things. I've grown older, potentially wiser. I have made many friends, lost a few as well. I have written. I have read. I have lived through diaster. I have lived through Bush.

I am more me than I was last year.
THAT is truly a remarkable thing.

Current Mood: awake awake

19 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
cassandraterra From: cassandraterra Date: December 31st, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, Art Robson is the man...or something. I wonder I could do a comic in latin...would he let me get away with that I wonder... First I'd have to get someone to DRAW the comic. Stick figures don't count.

I'm glad you are happy with your life.
abmann From: abmann Date: December 31st, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad you are happy with your life.

Why does that seems so depressing?

Art is awesome. Has he taught the comic class again? That was how I justified the special project.
cassandraterra From: cassandraterra Date: December 31st, 2004 02:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
It wasn't ment to be sound depressing! HONEST! :)

I don't think he has. I only thought about it because I'm taking upper level latin with him and Dessa (save me). :0)

abmann From: abmann Date: December 31st, 2004 02:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't think I can save you. Dessa might be able to do so. :)
lady_fox From: lady_fox Date: December 31st, 2004 02:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. I love you.
abmann From: abmann Date: December 31st, 2004 03:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Figured I get that out there. :) Not something I talk about but still remember.. ya know, that whole "I don't speak of spirituality unleses asked" thing I have.
graye From: graye Date: December 31st, 2004 04:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I INFLUENCED SOMEBODY! VICTORY!

You know, I hadn't really thought that I catalogue most of my life, but I suppose I do. It was never really intentional; it was more that I enjoy taking pics.

If I can manage it tomorrow or the day after, I'm planning a pictorial retrospective of 2004. Digital cameras are the bomb.
abmann From: abmann Date: January 1st, 2005 02:52 am (UTC) (Link)
You did indeed influence me. I'm surprised too, in retrospect.

Safe to say, you do rock. Potentially roll as well.

I'd less than three you if you did a pictorial retrospective. Just don't plan on anything else that day. :)
abmann From: abmann Date: January 1st, 2005 02:55 am (UTC) (Link)
PS: THat icon is still the bestest. You should eat malahat's brain and steal his skills to augment your own.
kittydesade From: kittydesade Date: December 31st, 2004 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you the Writer's Market book for Poets? Which I think, obviously enough, is called the Poet's Market, but I can't quite remember, not being a poet myself. Writer's Market is teh godly for getting stuff out, I presume Poet's Market would be the same.

Just, y'know. In case you not only want to get serious about getting the poetry published but downright mercenary as well. Submitting and editing and submitting some more has made me eerily cynical and brutal about the whole thing. I'm not sure if I liked it better before I started submitting or not.
abmann From: abmann Date: January 1st, 2005 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll probably knab a copy from Barnes and Noble.
nathan_lounge From: nathan_lounge Date: December 31st, 2004 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'd like to thank the academy...

I'm impressed by the stats you keep on yourself. It's almost as if you're a video game character or something...hmm...*note to self: start recording hit ratio and kill-count*...anywho, I'm glad Art is on that list. He's one of my heros. Thanks for the nod. :)

You get hero recognition to for being one of my few successful friends (both at life and at doing awesome things you wanted to do). ;)
earthdotprime From: earthdotprime Date: December 31st, 2004 10:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'd like to thank the academy...

will, don't influence him. he's already learned that life isn't a video game, if i have to reteach him that one... dude, we are NOT going through that again. ARE NOT.
abmann From: abmann Date: January 1st, 2005 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'd like to thank the academy...

You're just jealous you're not on my list. :þ
nathan_lounge From: nathan_lounge Date: January 1st, 2005 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I'd like to thank the academy...

Wait, so is life a video game Will?
From: adamgreeney Date: December 31st, 2004 08:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, if it matters, madolan's brother looks up to you, so you got one Greene.
abmann From: abmann Date: January 1st, 2005 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Hmm. maybe a dominoe affect will ensue.

I'm kinda worried for when she moves back to the cube next to me. I may have to protect myself... or take the long way past the trainers back to my desk (these are jokes).
madolan From: madolan Date: January 4th, 2005 04:08 am (UTC) (Link)
What I do isn't easy, and I'm flattered that you think it is. Actually, I think I haven't done anything worthy of that compliment in a while, and I hope to live up to it soon.

Yes, I do read it.

We're gonna be so fucking cool when I move back next to you (this week? next week? i dunno), because who else understands how much time we need to spend on LJ? Also I can ask you things that I need to ask A) for my job B) for photoshoppery.
abmann From: abmann Date: January 14th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Whoa, am I slow on the up take.

You read this journal? Interesting to hear. Why not re-friend me?
19 comments or Leave a comment