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It happened half way around the world. People are rushing in, money… - Portrait of a Young Man as The Artist — LiveJournal
abmann
abmann
It happened half way around the world. People are rushing in, money flows. Thousands have died, thousands more unknowingly follow them. I am no longer awake.

My life will continue, as it has, just as it has. Though I consider myself a global citizen, am I changed by something that has irrevocably differentiated 6 billion on this age? This is what I dream.

How will the sky look tomorrow to those that can see it? This day coming, and the next, and the next? How am I affected that thousands won't see them? How would this be different if they could? When do I find my Morpheus to dust me with portends and vision?

We seek revelation, solace, tranquility - pieces of mind that rarely matter in glory times - when an consciousness has altered in so sweeping a fashion. It is petty enlightenment. I seek petty enlightenment because I can know nothing else now. I have not seen tragedy's eyes, as I was here under night. Calm and sound.

I slept through it; we all slept through it, when places of safety, of family, saw the underside of Poseiden. This is incomprehensible to to us, sleepers. I can only want to wake up and believe that tomorrow, when the sun rises again, I will see it for their eyes.
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kaylithin From: kaylithin Date: December 29th, 2004 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
It feels so strange that it doesn't. Does that make sense? I havn't even put something about it in my LJ. I don't know what I would put. The death tolls just keep climbing and climbing. At this point, it's more residents than live in my hometown (not including college students). But the rising numbers havn't stopped. And it feels strange to be so far away from it, to not realize that that many people just DIED until I read a sentence about it when you check my email (I havn't been watching much tv or reading the papers lately).

Why can't something phenominally good happen? Do they actually, and they're just slower? Or maybe they're not covered in the news? Can we just rewind the past five years and start over?
abmann From: abmann Date: December 29th, 2004 04:52 am (UTC) (Link)
It does feel strange. I'm not sure what to do, how to feel. It makes everything seem so meaningless and meaningful. I'm depressed and happy to be alive. I'm not pleased about.

It all seems so petty.

I'm going to make this worse, in an attempt to pull myself out of a funk: this is banality. I feel more banal because of all this. This feeling is how I'm going to describe it. It's the unadulterated destruction of the veil.
kittydesade From: kittydesade Date: December 29th, 2004 05:06 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sitting here throwing the catnip mousie for my cat while someone, somewhere, is discovering their wife or brother or son or mother or lover died and will be buried, nameless and faceless, in a mass grave.

As a writer (I think it's because of writing, anyway) I try to think about it. I have to. Because some day I have to write down that feeling in a story somewhere.

I think that's going to be my ultimate response to this tragedy. To any tragedy, really, it's been my response since I was eight. Write essays, write fiction, write anything. Just write. Spew feelings out onto paper because they're too strange to keep inside. I don't know how to feel about this. It's one of those big things that the brain can't process.

I've been thinking about it this way, somewhat. Every fourth person in New York City, gone. Every third person in LA. Every other person in London or Paris. Everyone in DC. Gone. I've been thinking of scenes from the movie The Stand, with bodies falling as they worked, all over the place.

And with these thoughts in mind, I'm probably going to wind up writing some of the most horrifying shit I've ever seen.

I don't think this is banality. I think this is terror incarnate.
moocowrich From: moocowrich Date: December 29th, 2004 05:16 am (UTC) (Link)
I deal with catastrophic events in the same way I deal with everything: I joke about it. Any and all jokes are totally tasteless and not particularly worth putting down here.

I joke and laugh because life is so ridiculously absurd. Catastropic events that kill tens of thousands, perhaps a hundred thousand when all is said and done, are totally absurd. I mean, come on...how is this not ludicrous?
abmann From: abmann Date: December 29th, 2004 03:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
It is ludicrous, just not funny ludirous.

AND, last I checked all your jokes were tasteless. :)
tabulous From: tabulous Date: December 29th, 2004 02:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
It'll be our turn soon enough. It doesn't have to be a catastrophe, but it will very likely be something we weren't expecting.
The human consciousness has suffered a great loss, and yes, it hurts. It should hurt.
The good kaylithin is looking for is likely in the exceptionally unprecedented relief and aid that is pooring in from around the world. These are days in which everyone realizes how fortunate they are and how small and insignificant all at the same time.
And look, we have a new Moses
kirstygold From: kirstygold Date: December 29th, 2004 02:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I read someone's comment about the huge numbers of people that had been killed or were as yet unaccounted for, their take was the X thousand or X0 thousand people was too huge a number to comprehend... and in a way wouldn't be mourned properly. but some countries (like was quoted in the Moses article above Malaysia's death toll from the tsunami stands at 60, with 100 others missing.) have lost far fewer and that's easier to get your head round and in a way - they are easier to mourn, since you're thinking of a large roomful rather than a football stadium.

as a personal twist on it, very often the "West" doesn't report this as well as if it had been on our door step..... as if somehow there is a difference in the value of a life in the 'east' or 'third world'. and I think that is one of the saddest things.
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