There are many horrible jobs in this life. Emergency room janitor. Sow inseminator. Earwax collector. Sarah Palin's grammar checker. Glenn Beck's fluffer. Republican. New Jersey.
But when I sit back, sip my scotch and scan the newswires for sundry effluvia indicative of our culture's joyful hellbound deathspin, the realization soon dawns that I can think of few gigs more nightmare-inducingly, soul-deadeningly horrible than being an executive for garbage food megacorp.
That is to say, a VP for McDonald's, Taco Bell, Burger King or their ilk, someone who sits around all day trying to discover new ways to manipulate, coerce, poison, and otherwise flagrantly kill millions of humans worldwide by convincing them to eat mass-produced, industrial feedlot, chemical-blasted garbage you should not feed to your dog unless you totally hate him and want him to get heart disease and die.
The KFC Double-down: One sandwich to Kill You All
Yes, I admit it my first response to the sandwich was "Holy crap that looks awesome!" And then I remembered the last time I ate KFC three years ago and had one of the HARDEST low-blood-sugar crashes I'd had in recent memory. I'm pretty sure the entirety of their food is modified food starch and corn syrup.
Lastly: I could absolutely make a much better version of that sandwich with locally raised chicken, bacon and cheese.
As soon as I figure out how to do low-GI fry batter.
Last lastly: The KFC DD will kill your touch screen device. OH NOES!
Last last lastly: Vegan Double-Down